I am, without a doubt, my own worst enemy. I set unrealistic standards for myself and then ridicule myself when I don't meet them. I constantly remind myself of all the mistakes I've ever made, cringing and angry. I ruminate over the terrible things I've done until I feel worthless and like I am the scum of the earth. I push people away because at the end of the day I can't pretend to be the person I want them to think I am. I will never forgive myself and haunt myself with my own fears and past choices. I beat myself up. I actively humiliate myself. I publicly shame myself. I make my own life miserable every chance I get. I didn't realize how horrible I was to myself until I had no one to blame for my misery but me. This last weekend I vented to a friend. No, I straight up vomited on her for hours about how disgusting I am and how miserable I make others and how people will never forgive me and how awkward it is to be around them and blah blah blah. I thought i
This is a blog about a young woman who is trying to learn a little late in life how to LIVE without being immature, unhealthy, or pedantic. If you feel like you're constantly fighting an uphill battle of the world but need a "place" then join me on my self-seeking journey and maybe we can help each other learn how to be us while still being sober.