Beautifully Me and Sober

I spend a lot of my life in the loudest silence possible. I've been sitting in my seat for the last three hours completely enveloped in my internal conversations, thoughts, and conflicts. I had no idea how quiet I actually was until I realized that, while I was deeply involved with my own conundrums or dreams, I would not say one word outwardly for hours on end. This is not necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary sitting in silence can help you unravel your day. Sometimes I wonder though if, in my silence, I am creating more destruction to my healing than rebuilding. To figure this out I saw no other choice but to.... TRY AN EXPERIMENT 🤔 I keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings. I do this to figure out on my bad days what triggers or activities took place to bring about a not so good day. I also do it to assess situations that I could have handled better and write down about 5 choice responses to have fresh at the forefront of my mind for the next confrontation. I kept trac...

Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply through your nose and release it. Do this a couple of times just paying attention to the back of your eye lids or how good the deep breaths feel. Now open your eyes. Does the world seem different? I've been told that taking time for yourself is like creating a new beginning. Every time you do something for yourself it's like the world starts over and you're allowed to hope again. Self-care is something I've been researching for the past year. As a teacher it's imperative to the profession to rejuvenate yourself for fear of succumbing to the ear piercing, nails on chalkboard peril that awaits you. Self-care was a luxury I couldn't afford back in February. I understood the importance of taking time for myself but never did it. Any more I have to make time for myself or I become easily irritated, sensitive, and just childish. Childish you say?? Yes! That kind of childish where you're sitting on the couch, looking around with t...

Have you ever felt like you're being attacked? Every time I feel like I'm on a good path doing the right thing SOMETHING happens. You know what I'm talking about? You wake up and decide it's a new day, a new you. This is the day you're gonna be nice to random strangers to spread joy. You get on the highway to go to work and someone cuts you off and proceeds to go 5 miles under the speed limit. Your new day, new you turns into word vomit toward someone else who made a vast judgmental error. In the moment it all felt so right and then five minutes later guilt washes over you and you realize your good deeds were washed away in one fluid moment. So often I view change as a perpetually positive thing. If I just do x, y, or z then my life will be complete and I'll be joyful all the time. I'm writing this blog to remind us that choosing the right path may be the first step but choosing to stay on the right path is a battle. Don't get me wrong, the right path do...