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The Flower Epiphany

I spend a lot of my life in the loudest silence possible. I've been sitting in my seat for the last three hours completely enveloped in my internal conversations, thoughts, and conflicts. I had no idea how quiet I actually was until I realized that, while I was deeply involved with my own conundrums or dreams, I would not say one word outwardly for hours on end. This is not necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary sitting in silence can help you unravel your day. Sometimes I wonder though if, in my silence, I am creating more destruction to my healing than rebuilding. To figure this out I saw no other choice but to....
TRY AN EXPERIMENT 🤔
I keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings. I do this to figure out on my bad days what triggers or activities took place to bring about a not so good day. I also do it to assess situations that I could have handled better and write down about 5 choice responses to have fresh at the forefront of my mind for the next confrontation. I kept track of my feelings for two weeks. In this time there were some days that I would sit quietly and think for hours and some days were so busy from beginning to end that I didn't have time to even think. Of course there were also "happy medium" days. In the times that I experienced the most grief were the days that I had spent at home on my couch with the curtains closed. 

This experiment taught me something unique about people. We are like flowers. Don't worry the violins aren't going to start playing, I'm not about to give a soliloquy, there's NO spotlight. Lately I've been trying my hand at gardening, which I can't wait for you to read about THAT adventure 🙄, and in this time I've realized that people have the qualities of a plant. We need sunshine to energize us and bring us joy. We need positive praise to get us through the rough weather. When we bloom it is symbolic of flourishing and using our gifts to be present and proud of what we have accomplished. Each person's accomplishments look different. No two plants bloom the same way or at the same time. 

My alone times weren't what was getting me down. It boiled down to what I kept thinking about or how I thought of myself. If during my quiet moments I was planning or thinking of new ways to do my job I was fine, but if I was putting myself down, reliving past mistakes, or over analyzing choices I had made then it turned into a destructive day. Alone time is important. What you choose to do in your quiet time can be healthy. Give yourself the proper nutrients to bloom. A little vitamin D is on the prescription ledger for this weekend. What will you be doing with your quiet time?

Don't let your quiet alone time consume you, let it be the soil, sun, and water to your direction of how, where, and when you will bloom. 🌼

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