Skip to main content

The Flower Epiphany

I spend a lot of my life in the loudest silence possible. I've been sitting in my seat for the last three hours completely enveloped in my internal conversations, thoughts, and conflicts. I had no idea how quiet I actually was until I realized that, while I was deeply involved with my own conundrums or dreams, I would not say one word outwardly for hours on end. This is not necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary sitting in silence can help you unravel your day. Sometimes I wonder though if, in my silence, I am creating more destruction to my healing than rebuilding. To figure this out I saw no other choice but to....
TRY AN EXPERIMENT 🤔
I keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings. I do this to figure out on my bad days what triggers or activities took place to bring about a not so good day. I also do it to assess situations that I could have handled better and write down about 5 choice responses to have fresh at the forefront of my mind for the next confrontation. I kept track of my feelings for two weeks. In this time there were some days that I would sit quietly and think for hours and some days were so busy from beginning to end that I didn't have time to even think. Of course there were also "happy medium" days. In the times that I experienced the most grief were the days that I had spent at home on my couch with the curtains closed. 

This experiment taught me something unique about people. We are like flowers. Don't worry the violins aren't going to start playing, I'm not about to give a soliloquy, there's NO spotlight. Lately I've been trying my hand at gardening, which I can't wait for you to read about THAT adventure 🙄, and in this time I've realized that people have the qualities of a plant. We need sunshine to energize us and bring us joy. We need positive praise to get us through the rough weather. When we bloom it is symbolic of flourishing and using our gifts to be present and proud of what we have accomplished. Each person's accomplishments look different. No two plants bloom the same way or at the same time. 

My alone times weren't what was getting me down. It boiled down to what I kept thinking about or how I thought of myself. If during my quiet moments I was planning or thinking of new ways to do my job I was fine, but if I was putting myself down, reliving past mistakes, or over analyzing choices I had made then it turned into a destructive day. Alone time is important. What you choose to do in your quiet time can be healthy. Give yourself the proper nutrients to bloom. A little vitamin D is on the prescription ledger for this weekend. What will you be doing with your quiet time?

Don't let your quiet alone time consume you, let it be the soil, sun, and water to your direction of how, where, and when you will bloom. 🌼

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Gardens and Green Thumbs

I have never had a green thumb. For the longest time the running joke in my family was that I had a black thumb. Even if I wanted to keep simple house plants alive they’d be deceased within the week. So, you can imagine my positive outlook when I realized that gardening was next on my list of hobbies to try. Before the summer season started a co-worker of mine gave me three plants and said, “It’s impossible to kill them. They will be great for you to learn with.” Of course while she’s encouraging me I’m nodding and smiling but I’m thinking, if only you knew. So I take them home and water them here and there and after a few days they start to wilt. I forgot to put them in the sun. So I rush them outside to give them sunlight, and forget them out there. OF COURSE a frost comes in the middle of spring and turns my plants into spinach. Not the beautiful leafy spinach but the yucky kind, you know, the kind that comes in a can. I remember that I left them outside after two or five days of ...

Let's Throw a Party!!!! Minus The Alcohol...

One of the events I've tried to master is throwing a party without drinking. I actually love everything about parties. I enjoy watching my guests have a great time. I have a blast making snacks that take 2 hours to prep for and even longer to perfect and make. I am excellent at all of the usual party games: beer pong, flip cup, quarters, cards, 2 truths and a lie, and most board games. You name it I've played it and who doesn't love winning all the time? Lastly I enjoy hosting and being able to play DJ. I'm a nurturing soul anyways, when I'm throwing a party that's my whole job. I love listening to people and then either helping them confront their problem head on or convince them to move forward. I LOVE it ALL. The problem comes from one of two things: one, you throw a party and do not have alcohol or two, you throw a party and allow alcohol. Both avenues are problematic for me. The first option repulses most guests. People can be your BEST FRIENDS but if giv...

Day 18: Puzzled with a Puzzle

Hello! The goal of this blog is day 365. I love my mother with all of my being and it would be great if I could give her the gift next Christmas of me being sober for an entire year. This means I have to stay busy. My next hobby that I am attempting to get into is doing puzzles! The first puzzle I put together was from Wal-Mart. It wasn't very stressful and I put it together with some help from my husband. Apparently he likes puzzles. That's the good news. Apart from the tasteless scenery that seems to be the common theme of all puzzles, the act of putting something together piece by piece helps me feel so accomplished when the picture is finally completed. I likened it to putting my own life together which felt nice as I always feel like my life is a mess. The not so good part: Depending on the day of my recovery; puzzles can begin to feel like a trigger. I'll explain. I purchased a beautiful looking puzzle from dollar tree. I know, I know. You don't have to t...