Beautifully Me and Sober

       A reflection is worth a thousand thoughts. Have you ever analyzed your reflection? DO IT. Seriously. Get up right now, walk into the bathroom and take a good, long, hard look at the woman/man staring back at you. You may find out that you're exhausted or perhaps that you're harboring anger or depression. The point is that you don't stop to soul search until you are faced with it and cannot look away or pretend it's not happening. Have you ever been asked how you are? My first response, like a knee jerk reaction, is to say, "I'm fine," accompanied by a curt smile. I'm not always fine but I don't actually say what I'm feeling. I try to mask it. Usually, 90% of the time, it works perfectly. People believe me and I'm released from the possibility of actually having to face the truth. I'm. Not. Fine.        I'm actually very good at concealing my true feelings. I do it so well that I even convince myself I'm fine when I may ...

Hello! The goal of this blog is day 365. I love my mother with all of my being and it would be great if I could give her the gift next Christmas of me being sober for an entire year. This means I have to stay busy. My next hobby that I am attempting to get into is doing puzzles! The first puzzle I put together was from Wal-Mart. It wasn't very stressful and I put it together with some help from my husband. Apparently he likes puzzles. That's the good news. Apart from the tasteless scenery that seems to be the common theme of all puzzles, the act of putting something together piece by piece helps me feel so accomplished when the picture is finally completed. I likened it to putting my own life together which felt nice as I always feel like my life is a mess. The not so good part: Depending on the day of my recovery; puzzles can begin to feel like a trigger. I'll explain. I purchased a beautiful looking puzzle from dollar tree. I know, I know. You don't have to t...

          My husband called me boring today. It's true I've been called worse. For those of you who don't know me I am an educator with a dry sense of humor, newly married, and unfortunately a millennial. My purpose of writing is to branch out and find other millennials who are desperately trying to be an adult. This is not to say that I am my mother, the picturesque, model woman, because, despite my best efforts, I will never quite get the chorus to sing when I enter the room as she does. All joking aside, I am not my mother. I haven't always made the best choices but am making an acute effort to find a true JOY in life that doesn't come from drinking until I forget how to spell my middle name or through other reckless courses of action.            I just want to find JOY. The first step toward an adult life where fun doesn't have to be spelled with vomit, is creating a book club called, "Better Life Book Club." The cliche nam...