A reflection is worth a thousand thoughts. Have you ever analyzed your reflection? DO IT. Seriously. Get up right now, walk into the bathroom and take a good, long, hard look at the woman/man staring back at you. You may find out that you're exhausted or perhaps that you're harboring anger or depression. The point is that you don't stop to soul search until you are faced with it and cannot look away or pretend it's not happening. Have you ever been asked how you are? My first response, like a knee jerk reaction, is to say, "I'm fine," accompanied by a curt smile. I'm not always fine but I don't actually say what I'm feeling. I try to mask it. Usually, 90% of the time, it works perfectly. People believe me and I'm released from the possibility of actually having to face the truth. I'm. Not. Fine.
I'm actually very good at concealing my true feelings. I do it so well that I even convince myself I'm fine when I may not be. My reflection looks the most honest the morning after I've made some poor choice to drink instead of dealing with my feelings. I force myself to go to the bathroom and take a good look at the person I see staring back at me. I don't know what it is but as soon as I look deep into my own eyes I start to cry. Sometimes when I drink I fool myself that it's the answer to all my problems or that it's exactly what I need to get back on track. It's not until the day after when I see my own miserable complexion that I realize it only makes things worse. When I finally accepted the fact that I was done drinking it was my reflection that forced me to slow down and eventually stop the consumption of alcohol.
Honesty is the best policy. When you are honest with who you are and who you want to be, only then can you find peace without anything else. I would say that the best thing I did to help myself get clean was to change the person I saw in the mirror. First I began to ask myself questions such as, what do I like to do for fun? What is my favorite kind of movie? What kinds of shows could I watch for days on end (binge)? I realized that I hadn't watched Sailor Moon in a very long time. Sailor Moon was/is my favorite anime show. I stopped watching it as my life became engrossed with the wrong people and the wrong trends.
I let go of all of my current friends, habits, and fears and started to piece together who I once was and who I wanted to be. Thus began the healing of my soul. With all of this new change I decided to change my outward appearance as well. By changing my outward appearance I promised my self to wake up everyday and try toward my best self. Once I was ready I began my research on make-overs. It was so much fun! I decided what cut shape and color I wanted for my hair. There were so many options to choose from. My hair went from long to shoulder length. It went from mouse brown to hombre with brown to blonde tones. I enjoyed it and it gave me the confidence I needed to begin my journey. Changing my style of clothes was, in a sense, healing, as I chose outfits that made me feel like the strong healthy adult I was working toward becoming.
The Not So Good Things:
1.) Buying all new clothes and changing my hair style was EXPENSIVE.
2.) Hair Styles are permanent and, had I hated it, this could have been disastrous.
3.) Relapse makes you resent your new clothes and hair
The Wonderful Parts:
1.) I felt like a brand new person filled with hope and power to change.
2.) Even on bad days my style is low maintenance.
3.) My clothes made me want to get my body in shape as well.
Overall this experience was great! changing my hair and clothes made me feel like I was changing the person I used to be. Looking back I wish I had done this after a long period of sobriety. The days that I relapsed I felt like I had really failed to keep the promise I made to myself. This is a must try after your first month of sobriety. Definitely make sure that you do your research before cutting or coloring your hair. You don't want to make a rash decision. The cut is meant to help your self esteem and therefore must be really well handled.
Strength and peace my dear readers. Please feel free to comment your transformation picture below and let me know where you're at in your better and beautiful you journey!
I'm actually very good at concealing my true feelings. I do it so well that I even convince myself I'm fine when I may not be. My reflection looks the most honest the morning after I've made some poor choice to drink instead of dealing with my feelings. I force myself to go to the bathroom and take a good look at the person I see staring back at me. I don't know what it is but as soon as I look deep into my own eyes I start to cry. Sometimes when I drink I fool myself that it's the answer to all my problems or that it's exactly what I need to get back on track. It's not until the day after when I see my own miserable complexion that I realize it only makes things worse. When I finally accepted the fact that I was done drinking it was my reflection that forced me to slow down and eventually stop the consumption of alcohol.
Honesty is the best policy. When you are honest with who you are and who you want to be, only then can you find peace without anything else. I would say that the best thing I did to help myself get clean was to change the person I saw in the mirror. First I began to ask myself questions such as, what do I like to do for fun? What is my favorite kind of movie? What kinds of shows could I watch for days on end (binge)? I realized that I hadn't watched Sailor Moon in a very long time. Sailor Moon was/is my favorite anime show. I stopped watching it as my life became engrossed with the wrong people and the wrong trends.
I let go of all of my current friends, habits, and fears and started to piece together who I once was and who I wanted to be. Thus began the healing of my soul. With all of this new change I decided to change my outward appearance as well. By changing my outward appearance I promised my self to wake up everyday and try toward my best self. Once I was ready I began my research on make-overs. It was so much fun! I decided what cut shape and color I wanted for my hair. There were so many options to choose from. My hair went from long to shoulder length. It went from mouse brown to hombre with brown to blonde tones. I enjoyed it and it gave me the confidence I needed to begin my journey. Changing my style of clothes was, in a sense, healing, as I chose outfits that made me feel like the strong healthy adult I was working toward becoming.
The Not So Good Things:
1.) Buying all new clothes and changing my hair style was EXPENSIVE.
2.) Hair Styles are permanent and, had I hated it, this could have been disastrous.
3.) Relapse makes you resent your new clothes and hair
The Wonderful Parts:
1.) I felt like a brand new person filled with hope and power to change.
2.) Even on bad days my style is low maintenance.
3.) My clothes made me want to get my body in shape as well.
Overall this experience was great! changing my hair and clothes made me feel like I was changing the person I used to be. Looking back I wish I had done this after a long period of sobriety. The days that I relapsed I felt like I had really failed to keep the promise I made to myself. This is a must try after your first month of sobriety. Definitely make sure that you do your research before cutting or coloring your hair. You don't want to make a rash decision. The cut is meant to help your self esteem and therefore must be really well handled.
Strength and peace my dear readers. Please feel free to comment your transformation picture below and let me know where you're at in your better and beautiful you journey!
Comments
Post a Comment