You know the old saying, "Failure ISN'T an option!"? Something I always tell my kids is that we are human, this means we make mistakes. This phrase is all fine and dandy for them because they are learning new things but as an adult I should be damn near perfect! HA. The only way our brains learn is by failing and making mistakes. The center of my alcoholism is having unrealistic standards for my journey. When I don't meet the expectations I have set for myself, I become morose. I know it's been a while since I posted last but if you were unable to guess, I failed. I drank. The problem isn't so much in the fact that I drank but rather in the fact that I wallowed in it for a good month. When I drink I get depressed and then use alcohol to make myself feel better. Which, for those of you that can identify, you know will only make things worse. I knew it was going to make things worse. After a month I was quickly reminded why I quit drinking in the first place and picked back up where I was. My new sober date is March 24th 2019. I bet you're wondering why it took me so long to post again. The real answer is that defeat is never easy, especially when you're trying to reach a public goal. I even contemplated not writing a blog any more. I thought I was the worst possible example of someone trying to get sober and stay sober. I was being ruthless toward myself and more importantly I was wrong.
Sobriety is all about the journey. Failing, making mistakes, and trying again is the outline of every good story including mine. Success can only be measured in moments. If I completed this goal without any setbacks I might reach a lot of people. However, if I reach my goal after making mistakes and choosing to keep going, then I might reach more people then I ever imagined. You see, people don't want the seemingly perfect; people want reality. The reality is I'm going to make mistakes. Just like I say my kids are human, I am no exception to this. I have to quit being so hard and start being so accepting. The more relaxed this process is the better I feel and the further I will go.
This Thursday makes two months. I've already made it a month past my original sobriety. Now that we are both on the same page, I continue along with my quest. I will fill you in on the things I've tried. I'll keep telling you what has worked for me and give you the honest truth about every hobby. In the mean time if you have relapsed don't self-deprecate. It happens. Making the choice to get back on the wagon, now that's the tough part. You can do this, I believe in you!
PS: I am using the color teal because in my relapse I have decided that teal is the color for new beginnings.
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