Beautifully Me and Sober

Before you freak out and ask yourself, "Why did she put family in quotes?!" Dun, dun.....Duuuuuuunnn!, and come up with a million theories as to the purpose behind it; I'll start by explaining. Everyone in this world has a good family or can have access to a good family. Family isn't always defined by blood relation. When you read this blog entry and think of your family, I want you to think of the people who support you the most. The people that you go to when your world is falling apart, again, and they take your tears and your mess and they help you scrub away all of the cobwebs that seem to have a hold on your clear mindset. The people who take you back into their arms a million times when you've messed up and they still love you and they still want to be a part of your life. I'm talking about those people. Those are my family. If you don't have people like this in your life yet, please don't give up, it took me 28 years to discover these people in...

You know those memes about basic women with their one dish of Fettuccine Alfredo? Well....that's me. I lure men in with my feminine wiles and one signature dish of Fettuccine Alfredo. By the time they realize I can only cook five things and am not as chill as I pretend to be, they're hooked. Now that I have the title "wife" I feel like this is a HUGE part of my millennial life that needs to be more adulty. I need more than 5 dishes to feel like I've earned this title. So I called my mommy to render aid. You may remember her as the woman who walks into the room and a hundred angel choruses sing because she's the picturesque view of everything perfect. Yes, I called in... the BIG GUNS. There are three recipes I've been able to learn in the past couple of weeks. Baking was the main priority as I love to bake but I want to venture past cake and brownie mixes from boxes. I've baked banana bread, coffee cake, and Oreo balls. All three have turned out reall...

Let me start this entry by saying a hard and fast truth about myself. I am a huge, beyond abnormal, weenie. When it comes to animals, people, or even inanimate objects I am completely hypersensitive. So when I tell you that I tried fishing and shooting guns please understand it was catch and release and I fired guns at targets in a shooting range. Yes!! I went fishing! So let me level with you about this hobby. I used worms and that was...interesting. Putting them on the hook was hard. Worms are squishy and change shape so easy and a small part of me was terrified they would slip into my nail bed and kill me. Okay... I'm being deeply dramatic! But, it was so hard to put them on the hook and not do a shuffling dance every time. I even tried giving the worms a pep talk like, "Okay, I know this isn't fun and I'm really sorry about this but we can do this. NOOOO!! Don't do that (as they wriggle from my hand). You're not being a team player right now Mr. Worm....

   The next item on my list of hobbies to try is planning and going on trips! I had two trips planned and, of course they were back to back. I am not very good at this expert planning business. I'm definitely going to have to work on my ability to coordinate time frames better. Of course I'm sure this will get better as I go along, 🙄 hopefully. But, adultiness can't be accomplished in a day so I have to be patient with myself. Any hooskies, back to business.    My husband and I had planned to go to Missouri to see one of his good friends and hang out. He always wants me to come with him every where he goes and this makes me feel welcome and loved but I'll admit, I was a little apprehensive to go on this trip. Firstly because he and his friends make every event into a brothel and secondly because of my social anxiety. I'm always awkward but this occasion was special. You see, I wasn't sure if his friend was going to remember the one thing I did that one time on...

Hello All! Today is two months and it feels really good! I have a secret for you today...are you ready for this?? If left alone my mind controls my life. Is this you too? You sit on the couch for a few minutes after work. One moment you're detoxing from work by thinking about why your co-workers' panties were all in a bunch and the next thing you know your brain has spiraled into, "My life has no MEEEEEEAAAANNNIIIING *insert uncontrollable sobs here*." Oh yeah! I'm the queen of depression, anxiety, and ruminating when I am in a closed house in the eerie quiet. I had to find a way to combat this, apart from the previous choices that lead to disaster before. I realized I don't have any goals. I have no life goals, no bucket list items to check off and feel like I am contributing to my life. Today the advice is, if you don't already, Make a List of Goals For Self Growth. I know, I know, easier said than done. Your list doesn't have to change the world o...

Happy Music Playlist:   https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXpWSRr9kUKrZvs8Ssm6VYA9PLDhHH-fl          Take some of my list and save it to your own happy song list. Rituals are important. Staying busy and feeling connected is a part of growing up :) Below are a list of rituals I've begun. Enjoy and feel free to adapt them to your life 1. COFFEE WITH A FRIEND - Have you ever watched the show Friends and wanted a cool hang out spot like they did? I've thought about getting coffee or breakfast in the same spot everyday but then reality sets in and I remember that my bank account can't afford this. Nevertheless this was the next adventure on my list. I had this best friend that was my little ray of sunshine. She would encourage me when I was down, lift me up, spend time with me, and pray for me. We became like sisters up until she moved away to pursue her career as a teacher. I since have been able to be her little ray of sunshine as she goes through...

I mentioned before that I was wrong to think I could do this on my own. I'm going to be weak and have moments where I don't think I have a problem. Typically this happens because I want to be like everyone else and just have a couple, but for me "a couple" is not in my vocabulary. Last Sunday I taught Sunday School for a couple of kids that go to my church. Usually, my mother leads it or my sister, but both of them were out of town. I felt a nagging sensation to lead it in their stead. My first thought, "Okay, but what do I teach them?" Being a teacher does not mean we have lesson plans stashed away in our brains for a rainy day. It's not like there's a filing cabinet in my brain I can thumb through until I find the right lesson. Needless to say I felt hesitant and unworthy to teach. Mind you, this is all a 3 minute conversation that took place in my head. I started going through the usual stories that kids learn at church, David and Goliath, Ad...